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Friday, November 07, 2003
equality in domestic area
i was astonished to know that my friend looks for a wife who is willing to SERVE him. it's one of the criterias he put on his list except the woman must be also beautiful, smart, understanding, listen to him, and not stubborn. i cannot believe that idea really comes from my friend who is living and working in modern society and belong to those so-called new generation. ok lah, he was raised in a conservative chinese family which i know exactly puts the man superior than woman and gives all the privileges to the man to be served by his wife. even i once heard it's a humilitation for the man to work at the kitchen.
come on... the world changes and so the way people perceives things. cooking for example. both men and women these days should know how to cook. it's just not fair to put all the burdens to the wives to clean the house, to cook, and to SERVE the husband while she also has been working all day!
where it goes all kartini struggles if some modern men still think that kitchen area is not the place they should be, as well as the cleaning, the washing, the taking care of the children, and other domestic houseworks. the idea of wife as maid, mother, and chef that has been brainwashed into their head doesn't fix anymore in this 21st century.
for me, the ideal picture of couple is when the husband works with the wife hand-in-hand. i have the best example myself which is my own father (i have a polish father and a chinese mother). since their first year of marriage, my father shares the household works with my mom. he cleans the floor, helps with the laundries, and most of all fixes any devices that require assembly. well, i'm not married yet, but i know for sure that's what i want from my husband when i am. that's what we call "understanding man". may their tribe increase!
sorry if i sound cynical... i just want to stress my point that man and woman are equal partners. of course i don't mind serving my husband hot cups of coffee while he is watching tv... but that initiative comes more because i love him and not because i owe him something or worse because that's my obligation to do that as his wife. and i would also love to have cups of milk tea specially prepared by him. that means equal. equal with specialization, of course. i can depend on my man when it comes to the tasks pertaining craftsmanship and he can depend on me on financial management.
in conclusion, modern man must be supportive of his wife's career aspirations, an equal time father, and if possible, a cook in the kitchen, too. period.
stelly @ 9:21 AM
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